Thoughts...

It's been a long time since I have posted anything on my blog. A lot of that is because I have been dealing with a lot of health issues, and realizing through them that I wasn't thinking as well as I would like to. I was afraid I might write something I would regret later. But I realize things are getting better, perhaps I should share something I am learning or observing right now in life. One thing that has been interesting is observing 'thoughts.' It's something I don't hear talked about much, and although I don't understand it all, I will try to explain the things that I have learned through my experiences and others I have observed.

For me, thoughts are not always who we are. They are a piece of us, and can let us know more about what is going on, but they aren't the whole picture. My thoughts can change very easily through lack of sleep, eating something that doesn't work for my body, types of music, songs or books I read, etc. I remember the first time I had my first 'ah-ha' experience with this. It was several years ago. I was feeling great and had gone to get an ice cream cone at McDonald's. While eating it I realized that my thoughts had suddenly turned from being happy to depressed. I was starting to think my life was horrible and there was nothing good about it. I took 'a step back' in a sense and just observed the thoughts going through my head. I couldn't believe how quickly they had changed. That was the last McDonald's ice cream cone I have eaten - actually any ice cream. I started to see that my body doesn't do well with it. But back to thoughts... from then I started to realize that I shouldn't take my thoughts as seriously as I do at times. Sometimes I misinterpret my thoughts. Thoughts I take literally may just be another way for my body to try to communicate to me about what is going on inside. An example of this is from a friend I have who is currently dealing with a lot of anxiety, fear and paranoia. Watching her go through these and trying to convince her that what she is seeing and feeling is not really happening is hard. She couldn't understand how they could not be real - because it feels real to her. She is starting to understand more of what is going on with her body and why she is all of a sudden experiencing these issues. But it is still hard for her to not believe all her thoughts.

Right now I am starting to learn more about when I need to NOT take my my thoughts seriously. Starting to see when I am having a not too good health day, and to perhaps not to take too many emails or telephone calls seriously. I'm learning it's better better for me to not respond right away, but to wait perhaps a day to see if I feel the same on the subject. It's definitely a been learning process.

So thoughts are an interesting subject and I can see I really only see a small piece of it. I feel like I have been pondering on this subject though more frequently. Have you noticed any thing about your thoughts? When do you know you can trust them, and when to just let them go? hmmm... something to think about....

SF Weekend Fun

Last weekend, my sister Sarah flew up for the weekend. She flew up for a doctor's appointment, and to HAVE FUN!!! The doctor's appointment was Saturday morning, and the fun was Saturday afternoon. My other sister, Lindsay and her family met us up in San Francisco. I realized that although I live so much closer to San Francisco, I don't really get to this city much. The last time I came was December, and that was just to play at a gig in a hotel. Driving there I kinda remembered why I don't go there often.... traffic, crazy streets and HILLS!

(***note, this was my first time driving through San Francisco was a GPS.... so much better. It was also better when your, sister has an iPhone and can look up alternate routes so you can avoid the REALLY, REALLY STEEP ROADS - imagine scene from Princess Diaries movie of driving up SF hill in a stick shift car***)

Walking on Golden Gate Bridge... observe the fog (aka mist of darkness)... it's completely gone when you get to the other side of the bridge

Our first item on the agenda was to WALK THE GOLDEN GATE BRIDGE. We wanted to do something that none of us had done. Sarah and I were really excited to have found a FREE parking spot near the Golden Gate Bridge. (this is a rare occurrence in this city). The weather was deadfully cold and windy. I was grateful I brought my sweater, but wished I had brought a warmer hoodie with scarf and hat. We ended up putting the hoods on our jackets on our heads to protect it from the wind. The walk was a of fun, and being with 2 younger kids helps you to see the bridge differently. The bridge is 220 feet high from the water and 1.7 miles one way. (so we pretty much did a 5k)

Afterwards we went to the Palace of Fine Arts. I read about this while googling SF. It was built for the World's Fair in 1915. It's a beautiful outdoor palace that you could see may have been influenced by Greek or Roman cultures. .... oh did I mention I found FREE parking for this as well.... had to walk a few blocks, but it was FREE!

Palace of Fine Arts

We were all exhausted from the walking and being outside. We decided to go down south and see Stanford University campus. This is a beautiful campus. Lot's of trees, and amazing architectural buildings. Unfortunately we couldn't go into the church due to a ceremony. 

My nephew telling me to take a picture of his hand.

At the really cool water fountain at Stanford University.

...and now the curly hair pics

The Hair Story

In January, while I was in the hospital, I was put on some harsh medications. One of them being prednisone (scary music playing...). Not only did they put me on this drug, but they put me on a very high dosage for a lot longer than I wanted them to. I was on the med for about 4 months. Luckily no relapse when getting off of it (yea!). 

I haven't been on Prednisone since I was first diagnosed with Crohn's disease (about 12 years ago). The first time I was on it, I experienced a LOT of the side effects with it... weight gain, mood swings, excessively hungry, pimples, hair loss, etc. Not an enjoyable memory. 

This time around, I was a bit more learned and wiser. I experienced really no side effects from this, except.... HAIR LOSS!!! Now I must admit. I don't know if this is due to the medication or deficiency in vitamin/ mineral (I'm guessing both).

I've never experienced hair loss like this before though. I would be washing my hair and patches of hair would be in my hand. I am fortunate to have a lot of hair. But after 6 months, I am starting to really notice a change with the amount and texture. I am also noticing how much hair is all over my house. It drives me crazy. After I clean it all up, it just appears again!

So to create a win-win situation, I decided to get it cut. 

Today I went to Paul Mitchell's School after some errands and asked if they had any openings. They just had a cancellation, and fit me right in. It was great. She was even a phase 2 student (which means more experience, and technique). I explained my situation to her, and we talked about what "short" meant. I told her I had a few ideas of what I wanted but wasn't sure. She told me she had some ideas of what would look good on me. I told her that she could do whatever she wanted to with my hair, have fun with it. She was so excited to hear this (I guess not many people tell her this). 

So I have no before pictures, but my hair was curly, and about down to my shoulders. I really like the new look she gave me. It will be easy to do. Less hair to clean up. And I can style it straight of curly. 

 It's going to be a fun change. I can't wait to try out different curly techniques this weekend!

LDS Scripture Rock

It's been awhile since my last post. Many things have been going on in my life that have kept me busy...getting very sick, spending time in the hospital and ER, recouping, and trying to convince medical doctors that I don't need to see them anymore... at one point I had 4 doctors - makes it very busy with all those appointments - now I'm down to 3!... one day... oh, and school and constant research regarding understanding what happened...

But that story will be for another day and another post...

Right now I wanted to share a new routine that I have started that has been fun and good for me. I discovered a CD called "LDS Scripture Rock" about 7 years ago. Right now I have Doctrine and Covenants and Old Testament. Each CD has the 25 scripture mastery compiled into a "rock song". As I get ready for the day, I have been listening to a CD. I am starting to notice that I am now remembering the words more, and also having scriptures in my head more throughout the day. This really helps at times when I am just needing a "spiritual" pick me up. I found some "music videos" on you tube. Here is one of them so you can get some idea of what this fun music is like.

Sorry, my Chinese is not so good...

I finished my finals yesterday! I am excited for a mental break now. I just found this song, and thought that this is what I wanted to be able to convey to my poor Chinese teacher, who tried so hard to teach us how to say anything in Chinese this semester.

Title of this song in English is "Sorry, my Chinese in not so good". It is a story about the mistakes the band members (Transition, British Band) made when they first started to learn Mandarin Chinese. Enjoy!

(you can download the song for free here http://www.transition.com.tw/Transition/Dui_Bu_Qi_mp3/Dui_Bu_Qi_mp3.html)

A walk down Main Street

Here are some pictures of a walk I take at times down Main Street from the town I live. There are trees everywhere. I tried to capture the leaves changing colors. The phone camera didn't do it's justice I feel. 

 I looked out my window one day and saw this deer. They just looked at me, then continued to find food to eat. I've only seen this deer a few times with their young ones. I mostly have squirrels to watch. They can be funny at times on the trees. The squirrels can't stay still too long for pictures though.