I just finished reading in the Book of Mormon, Alma chapter 15. This chapter has helped me at understand how to deal with issues that I am going through at this time in my life. I have been given the honor to learn to handle and deal with the chronic health problem of Crohn's disease. It's a digestive disease, that could affect the digestive system anywhere from the mouth ALL the way down. With the changing of the seasons, this generally is when my Crohn's begins to act up as well. One of the things that has been difficult with this chronic condition is taking care of myself. I believe that everyone else should take care of themselves, but for some reason I shouldn't. I have learned (and continue to learn on a regular basis) the importance of taking care of oneself, or else it will take longer to heal when you are forced to take care of yourself. I learned this quite well when I needed to return home from my mission early due to not taking care of myself. But this week has been hard, as I have been placing horrible GUILT on myself for going home from work, and disappointing the patients whom I work with, as they look forward to me working with them. The guilt was becoming so bad when I was really not feeling well, that at one point I felt like I was disappointing the entire hospital due to my meager health problems that I weak and a failure for pushing through the pain.
I eventually began to listen to my body, and realized that it was not going to get better on it's own, unless I take care of it, and get some extra rest. Alma chapter 15, for me is an answer to questions I have been asking in my prayers. I appreciate how Alma talks about all the struggles and successes that him and Amulek had in their service. Then in Alma 15:18 it reads
"...Alma having seen all these things, therefore he took Amulek and came over to the land of Zarahemla, and took him to his own house, and did administer unto him in his tribulations, and strengthened him in the Lord."
This scripture teaches me that it is not a sign of weakness to take care of yourself, but actually a strength. It is something that an amazing prophet saw was necessary to do. I can see that I need to grant myself "permission" more to take care of myself and not to allow the evil guilt talk take that necessity away.
Oh, the picture posted is of my parent's Christmas tree. This is a part of "home" for me. I love the uniqueness of the tree with the different ornaments and bizarre gingerbread cookies all over:)
